Made roughly, yesterday. Very imperfect, just like me. Just like you too. My reason for not wanting to be involved in things, is always fear of being unliked, judged, hated, criticized, or (worst of all?) wrong. I try to hear both sides of things, at all times, due to this deep fear. But right now - no matter what you think about what is going on in the USA, in terms of civil unrest and race relations and systemic injustices towards the black community (no man or woman should have to fear for their life every time they make a minor mistake, or are confused for someone who made one, regardless of your view of police officers, or mine, no human being should have to live in that much constant existential fear in their own country) - I am noticing that my fear of being imperfect, or my fear of 'centering myself' (the newest fear), might render my voice and perspective useless, might leave me in my own head, on the sidelines, afraid and quiet and behind-the-scenes in my weirdo expressive metaphorical way, as usual. Instead of just speaking directly, that I believe these are important conversations, they have not been taken seriously enough, and this mostly peaceful protesting that is happening EVERYWHERE is because the feeling of sweeping-under-the-rug is likely too strong, people have been too uncared for, for far too long. Case in point, Flint Michigan is still without clean water for its residents, so many years later. There is money, just look at Jeff Bezos. It's just not being prioritized for black people. I understand this is complicated beyond my understanding (money, business, how systems are built, how wealth is created, how it is related to work and effort, but also a strange and calculated intelligence, how we are privileged overall in this country in part due to the strategies and systems of Americans who build massive things like corporations - but if your people are telling you it's not enough, what is currently provided is not enough for them to be able to live in dignity and feel okay in this world, in this country, in their skin, then maybe you could postpone your 3rd skiing trip or maybe hold off on buying that 15th home, and look at what's going on here...most people with wealth, in the upper middle class, are not the main problem...there are massive and major injustices happening at the top, far above you, and all that is being asked, is that you press pause and identify with those who grieve, who have less, etc. It is very hard to do, especially if you've pulled yourself up by your bootstraps, i.e. were born in one class and moved up to another...this is very very hard to do, I understand...nothing changes overnight...but what is being asked is respect, conversation, attention, help, support, and most of all, CARE.
Ask yourself if you can soften, just a little, and maybe begin to have conversations. Just a few. With the people around you.
credits
released June 3, 2020
Written and recorded June 2nd, 2020
by Jessica Fogle
This poem is speaking to everyone who sits on fences, whose heart is frozen, who can't choose teams, for fear or due to genuine mental / emotional trauma. This is a representation of my journey - from the sidelines to taking sides - a heart thawing out over years, after wrestling with the bitterness and resentments that caused me to freeze up and become inauthentic in the first place. But there is no time for that decade of inner work now (or maybe there is? i don't know your journey). But in case you've been sitting on fences like me, and the phrase you keep hearing, that there is "work to do" is triggering for you...I thought I'd share the shift that made it okay for me to hear, about work. Because the work is to find a way to care, and the way to care is just to ALLOW it. It's not work...it's a softening (and once softened, the work will flow naturally, as care). It's a facing of fear. Everyone I've ever admired allowed themselves to care, I've never admired someone who hides in fear, though I know a lot of people who hide in trauma, and that is a similar thing (albeit understandable, I have to understand it, because it's what I often do). I love you. If you can, pay attention. Consider other viewpoints. Let them into your heart. <3
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