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Mostly (Clouds & Light) - LIVE at Eastman Audio

by Jessica in The Rainbow

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This song was written October 2015, and is one of my most cherished ones to play - first performed live at Lamp Light Music Festival (with improv cello by Hunter Zhao), and later played at almost every show since. It's on another rough non-final version release (Peak/Peak I think, last summer, 2019)...

I have a terrible habit of avoiding working on the things I love the most...but just today, had an epiphany about that, while texting with a beloved friend.

What if we draw things out because we don't want them to be finished? What if we belabor communication timelines, and stretch out deadlines, because we want to sit in and stew in and really feel the weight and meaning of a song or project or relationship or friendship, even silly conversations like the text was that had been responsively-drawn-out...what if we delay, to cherish? Not to avoid?

I've always assumed my delaying on things was lack of love...

But I learned today, it's a hyper-frozen frozen-in-time (or trying to freeze in time) kind of love...that wants to p r o l o n g things...and not come to their natural conclusions, ...which would free up space for the dreaded eternal question: what n e x t? what now? onward... to what?

I don't know. More effort. More things. To do to be to dobedobedo...

It's okay...live inside your own tornado-volcano, if you want. There's nowhere else to go really. Except maybe up (or down? I choose up...or I try to...) Holding you in my mind, letting go too. xoxo Jessica

credits

released April 24, 2020
Song by Jessica Fogle
Recorded live at Eastman Audio, April 2019
Engineered by Matt Eastman
Originally part of this compilation: eastmanaudio.bandcamp.com/releases

Remixed/remastered a little for this release by JF - just for fun (originally intended to add synth-strings and space sounds etc, in the remix...but I changed my mind and decided to save that energy for the official album version instead...coming soon, like 2021 maybe, as part of 1 of 2 long-slated albums, Trees for Clouds, which will be a partial fundraiser for Crosshatch Center for Art & Ecology in Northern Michigan - www.crosshatch.org - which is where most of the Trees for Clouds songs were written, November 2015 during my 2-week residency there, alone in a cabin called 'Hill House', in the woods...a profound solitary experience for me, not necessarily good but some of the most life-altering things rarely are (as they're happening)...this song, however, was written a couple weeks before that experience...the day before Jes Kramer came to play a show with me and Katie Mansfield in Grand Haven MI, at a little dive bar venue called Pavillion, and it was one of my favorite shows there...reminded me a little of divey shows in Chicago, especially my old haunt Gallery Cabaret...full of DIY creativity and fun and a small following / community of friends...okay there's some history, enjoy!)

p.s. hug your friends, and acquaintances, in your mind. whenever you think of them. improves mood lol. okay xoxo bye!

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Jessica in The Rainbow Michigan

~demos & lofi~
~existential dream folk~
~neoclassical lullaby pop~
~care bear stare~

jessicaintherainbow.com 💕✨🌼

* Studio albums @ jessicawolfbird.bandcamp.com *
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