Make​-​Believe a​.​k​.​a. 365 Days vol. 4

by Jessica in The Rainbow

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1.
Birdsong 05:39
When you want to be more than you are more than you’ve been til now more than you think you can be When you wake up from the dream in your skin and you wonder if it’s really been anything anything at all anything at all Because you are fiction to me Because you made the rules at the start Because you played the game in your own way and I’m not playing it safe anymore All the clouds in the sky they don’t ask where they’re going they just go where they go where they’re going to All the birds in your mind are playing the same sad songs for you and you wonder if they want to write something new But it’s that same song it’s always been It’s that same song again and again And you wonder if they’re made to teach you what to do with your life with your life with your life and time it’s the same it’s the same And you could choose to wonder: what you could have been what you might have been what you could have been what you may have been what you might have been what you could be now if you just let go and dream
2.
NOW 05:36
Lovers of light Lovers of mine I see the sky in your eyes And it’s bright like a bird And it’s soft like a song Oh how I want to sing along with everyone And all that I am And all that I’ve been Is like a friend to myself And I’m letting go Of the need to be in control Of what you see or think of me Or think of anyone at all At all at all Cause I know I am so strange and small And life is like a cannonball into the ground I don’t know if we’re meant to drown or be found out as frauds Cause we all are We hold this light in our bones and claim it’s ours. Like a picture I didn’t paint Like a poem I couldn’t write I can see this world like a night A great night I want to live And I’m learning to go along with the songs that are sung all around me now But I can’t be anything I can’t be anything Except what I am now What I am right now
3.
There is a void inside your skin and inside this world all the things you dream of are in there There is a world inside your mind and heart and if you get to find it well it’s a pretty good start where you are Cause everyone is where they’re made to be and looking backwards or forwards teaches you about yourself time isn’t real but it’s the only thing we need to wake up to wake up from this slumber and see things with new eyes to wake up from this nightmare and see the world in its disguise It’s surprising what you might find in there It’s surprising that we haven’t found it before now and all the world is like some kind of puzzle or game we decided would be fun to play but maybe we were wrong 'cause all the beauty in the world can’t take away one moment of a crying mother or an angry father or a loss you never thought would be yours and all the healing in the world can’t change that moment it’s yours now and forever it’s yours and it’s all of ours your pain is my pain too all of ours to share it’s all of ours your pain is my pain too it’s all of ours this life we share and if you can bear the world can you bear this place? i don’t know if i want to bear the world for a face for a joy for a moment of flight in your arms
4.
Kaleidoscope 03:57
Why do you cry for things that aren’t really sad at all They’re just signposts to another road you’re meant to be on Can you feel it? like I do Do you wonder if this road is really a road at all or more like a kaleidoscope? All of these metaphors unfolding in a straight line when time is not a line at all Do you wonder? Do you feel it like I do like I do
5.
Change 04:09
I’m sorry that the words I use aren’t enough for you I’m sorry that the ways I speak are too much for you Don’t you wonder if it’s the answer for you too? Turn away instead of asking me to change change myself for you.
6.
Someday 05:28
Why do you keep growin Where you growing to? All of us are going to never come true Why are you still fighting? What is fighting for? When we’re out here righting all these wrongs from leftover wars And I say hey you’re not ready to be known or heard And I say I can never understand a single word you say Da da da Da da da da da All of us are waiting to feel alive in our skin and it’s like a drug or fire we never thought we’d know all of this desire in our skin and bones And you will have your answers someday And all of us give answers along the way cause we’re so bored down here.
7.
My Favorite 06:10
You’ve been a friend to me It’s easy to sing this song To thank you for all you’ve done for me Like a light at night You kept shining on with your light And you helped me when I was scared and unprepared And all of the birds want to fly But come home to you at night A home for their hopes their nests are made to rest in you it’s true And I will sing to you Even when you don’t want my song Cause I can’t help to feel it’s wrong not to thank you for all you’ve done Cause I wouldn’t be here at all I wouldn’t be here at all And I couldn’t see cause I’m not too tall Like you up high in the air Where I’ve laid my head to rest all these years Where I’ve laid my head to rest Where I’ve laid Laid my head to rest You’ve been a home You’ve been a nesting place for me
8.
Casio <3 01:43
I really love casios <3
9.
ANYTHING 07:53
Understand Understand It’s an understatement to say this Don’t explain Don’t command It pertains to the plan And do you want to know What do you want to know Do you want to see with your eyes your inner sight with your mind what do you want to know? Ooh Ooh Ooh What do you want to be Do you want to be anything? What do you want to be Do you want to decide Or let me decide for you What do you want to be What do you want to be? You could be anything at all… You could be me… Oh oh oh oh oh Ah ah ah…
10.
Reborn 05:04
Keep goin, I heard you say Keep goin, you say I don’t want to get in your way You’re angry, that I know You’re angry deep in your bones And I’ll tell you it will all be okay but it won’t Cause you have to decide if you want to really live this time And all the light in your eyes could go out at any time at any time You’re hungry to be heard You realize it’s all the same around the world And I’m asking you to just think it through why don’t you want to? You’re dying to be born and I tell you it’s not what you think at all You see me like a flood that lives in your blood but I’ll tell you it’s all just a way to be moving along like tides move and like sand’s never really reborn just blows around you just blow around you just go around it’s not any kind of solution at all you just blow around and blow around ... you’ll still be small
11.
Forest 06:05
We go into the wilderness And I’m afraid you won’t find what you’re looking for When we go into the forest And I know it’s strange but you have to let go of Wanting to find anything at all We went into our wisdom And we wanted to know if we grew at all When we went into our memories And we found out we were something great and smaller than we thought we were than we thought we were before If you are looking for something But you don’t want to know if it’s yours or mine to give Just hold out both your hands And see all this world wants you to live It’s easy if you try Or if you just say it is so You know that I know that doesn’t make any sense at all To let go you can find what you’re looking for all along Da da da da da da da If you want to know me and if I want to know you at all Well then all of the rules that you learned in childhood are a way of just keeping small I won’t know you You won’t know me And I have to let go of the reins this time I won’t know you And you won’t know me If I keep hiding inside a rhyme
12.
Moonbeam 03:03
Stars in the window in the darkness of my mind Stars like an echo like a moment in time And light like a moonbeam radiating from my mind I can see you I can feel you as I’m going blind
13.
Made for TV 05:26
If you had to choose a path that’s best for you Would you choose the one you’re on? And if you had to wonder where you went wrong Would you look around at all the things scattered everywhere like debris Would you see your life is clearly something you’d read in a book that’s made for TV I know there’s a way to see this day as new And I know that there’s a plan underneath all this rubble It’s true or at least it feels true And maybe we aren’t meant to discover the secret here Cause it isn’t clear after all this time It still isn’t clear And will it ever be I don’t know So just hold onto me And I’ll hold your heart in some strange chorus that’s here before us that’s full of light and birds and dreams like some strange vision I know it’s rising up It’s risen up from the seams All the cracks in the ground at your feet At the light at your feet Can’t get a foothold here You’re flying in air and it’s everywhere It’s around you like a dream you didn’t write but you want to dream
14.
Real Dream 11:29
If I could change your mind If I could help you understand All the ways this world is not in our command If I could change your mind If I could see into that cloud inside Between your eyes Between your mind eyes Where we get to decide what’s real to us Between all the thoughts and feelings about what’s been done to us and everyone around you Everyone you’ve ever met or read about or heard on your favorite show Your favorite TV show or movie No wonder you’re going slow It’s all too much But it could be a kind of a real life dream that you want it to be <3 (+ secret song: Time is waiting for your cue When you’re ready it will know what to do In the meantime it will be your friend It will hold you til the very end If you want it to If you want it to If you want it to When you’re ready I will be around Here to guide you with that same old sound I have always wanted to be this I wasn’t ready My fingertips can’t hold this light for you You will have to feel it too In the meantime I will be a friend to you )

about

hello! this is an experimental album, that i made up in a weekend. wrote the songs on late thurs night into friday afternoon, added parts and organized it all on saturday, and mixed to the best of my scrappy ability on sunday/monday before work, released on tuesday. all songs are one-take made up on the spot in the studio (words and music! hence some pauses and giggles) so please be kind about how it sounds <3 unless you hate being kind, in which case please don't say anything.

it is part of a year of challenges. on 2/12/17 I started a 365-Day Songwriting Challenge where I write and share a song every day on social media, that I made up for myself to get over my fear of people and committing to releasing anything into the world, which i only do once every 4 years or so despite conservatory training and tons of piano performance-oriented jobs, i'm a real chicken with sharing my work despite writing almost everyday for many years.

if you like this, and you want to know me better, musically or how my brain works, my youtube channel currenly has 275 more songs like this on it plus check in videos where i talk about life and challenges and how to become more transparent despite introversion that is really just trauma healing slowly i think. i used to be a pretty outgoing kid lol. www.youtube.com/channel/UCWUrJO6vPyVVCk_VDABUmaw

also I have some polished work too, catalysts on here and du bist einen fogle at jessicafogle.bandcamp.com, and some music with a chill band called cloudlight cloudlightmusic.bandcamp.com, and some albums in my head that have been built up into too big of a deal to ever release but i'd like to get over that soon and just start making more things.

xo jessica

p.s. if you want to help me keep going, here's my patreon: www.patreon.com/jessicaintherainbow

"Dreamy, intimate experimental pop, part of the artist's challenge to herself to write and record a song every single day of the year."
-Bandcamp, "New & Notable"

credits

released November 14, 2017

songs written a.k.a. improvised during recording by Jessica Fogle

mixed by Jessica Fogle except tracks 4 and 10 mixed by Bryan Ralph, xo
album art by Ryan Wyrick <3

mastered by my algorithm friend LANDR.
recorded in the clouds in Grand Haven, Michigan.

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all rights reserved

tags

about

Jessica in The Rainbow Michigan

~dream folk~
~lullaby pop~
~neoclassical~
~care bear stare~

jessicaintherainbow.com

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