Make​-​Believe a​.​k​.​a. 365 Days vol. 4

by Jessica in The Rainbow

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Dennis Jackson
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jcgorestorm
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Steve Lake
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chumii
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Bryan Colegate
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Jose Maria Ubeda Ulzurrun
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Ancient Hero
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Dylan Bean
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Wesley Applequist
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Jarod Cheslar
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Tippy Bonanza
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Bralph
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Javier Gil García
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brownfrancis
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Jay Behel
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浩志 二唐
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benoit servais
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Jonathan Hope
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1.
05:39
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2.
05:36
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3.
07:26
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4.
03:57
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5.
04:09
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6.
05:28
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7.
06:10
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8.
01:43
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9.
07:53
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10.
05:04
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11.
06:05
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12.
03:03
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13.
05:26
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14.
11:29
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about

hello! this is an experimental album, that i made up in a weekend. wrote the songs on late thurs night into friday afternoon, added parts and organized it all on saturday, and mixed to the best of my scrappy ability on sunday/monday before work, released on tuesday. all songs are one-take made up on the spot in the studio (words and music! hence some pauses and giggles) so please be kind about how it sounds <3 unless you hate being kind, in which case please don't say anything.

it is part of a year of challenges. on 2/12/17 I started a 365-Day Songwriting Challenge where I write and share a song every day on social media, that I made up for myself to get over my fear of people and committing to releasing anything into the world, which i only do once every 4 years or so despite conservatory training and tons of piano performance-oriented jobs, i'm a real chicken with sharing my work despite writing almost everyday for many years.

if you like this, and you want to know me better, musically or how my brain works, my youtube channel currenly has 275 more songs like this on it plus check in videos where i talk about life and challenges and how to become more transparent despite introversion that is really just trauma healing slowly i think. i used to be a pretty outgoing kid lol. www.youtube.com/channel/UCWUrJO6vPyVVCk_VDABUmaw

also I have some polished work too, catalysts on here and du bist einen fogle at jessicafogle.bandcamp.com, and some music with a chill band called cloudlight www.cloudlightmusic.bandcamp.com, and some albums in my head that have been built up into too big of a deal to ever release but i'd like to get over that soon and just start making more things.

xo jessica

p.s. if you want to help me keep going, here's my patreon: www.patreon.com/jessicaintherainbow

"Dreamy, intimate experimental pop, part of the artist's challenge to herself to write and record a song every single day of the year."
-Bandcamp, "New & Notable"

credits

released November 14, 2017

songs written a.k.a. improvised during recording by Jessica Fogle

mixed by Jessica Fogle except tracks 4 and 10 mixed by Bryan Ralph, xo
album art by Ryan Wyrick <3

mastered by my algorithm friend LANDR.
recorded in the clouds in Grand Haven, Michigan.

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all rights reserved

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Jessica in The Rainbow image

Jessica in The Rainbow Grand Haven, Michigan

Prolific weirdo - dream folk - big feelings - neoclassical piano floaty anime music lullaby vibes - existential casio pop - mostly lofi <3 <3 <3 xo

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Track Name: Birdsong
When you want to be more than you are
more than you’ve been til now
more than you think you can be

When you wake up from the dream in your skin
and you wonder if it’s really
been anything anything at all
anything at all

Because you are fiction to me
Because you made the rules at the start
Because you played the game in your own way
and I’m not playing it safe anymore

All the clouds in the sky
they don’t ask where they’re going
they just go where they go
where they’re going to

All the birds in your mind are
playing the same sad songs for you
and you wonder if they want
to write something new

But it’s that same song it’s always been
It’s that same song again and again

And you wonder if they’re made to teach you
what to do with your life
with your life
with your life and time
it’s the same
it’s the same

And you could choose to wonder:

what you could have been
what you might have been
what you could have been
what you may have been
what you might have been

what you could be now

if you just let go and dream
Track Name: NOW
Lovers of light
Lovers of mine
I see the sky
in your eyes

And it’s bright like a bird
And it’s soft like a song
Oh how I want to sing along
with everyone

And all that I am
And all that I’ve been
Is like a friend to myself

And I’m letting go
Of the need to be in control
Of what you see or think of me
Or think of anyone at all
At all at all

Cause I know I am so strange and small

And life is like a cannonball into the ground
I don’t know if we’re meant to drown or be found out as frauds
Cause we all are

We hold this light in our bones and claim it’s ours.

Like a picture I didn’t paint
Like a poem I couldn’t write
I can see this world like a night
A great night I want to live

And I’m learning to go along with the songs
that are sung all around me now
But I can’t be anything
I can’t be anything
Except what I am now
What I am right now
Track Name: Bear the World
There is a void
inside your skin
and inside this world
all the things you dream of
are in there

There is a world
inside your mind and heart
and if you get to find it
well it’s a pretty good start
where you are

Cause everyone is where they’re made to be
and looking backwards or forwards
teaches you about yourself
time isn’t real but it’s the only thing we need
to wake up

to wake up from this slumber
and see things with new eyes
to wake up from this nightmare
and see the world in its disguise

It’s surprising what you might find in there
It’s surprising that we haven’t found it before now
and all the world is like some kind of puzzle or
game we decided would be fun to play
but maybe we were wrong

'cause all the beauty in the world
can’t take away one moment
of a crying mother
or an angry father
or a loss you never thought
would be yours

and all the healing in the world can’t
change that moment
it’s yours
now and forever
it’s yours

and it’s all of ours
your pain is my pain too
all of ours
to share

it’s all of ours
your pain is my pain too
it’s all of ours
this life we share

and if you can bear the world
can you bear this place?
i don’t know if i want to bear the world
for a face
for a joy
for a moment of flight in your arms
Track Name: Kaleidoscope
Why do you cry for things that aren’t really sad at all
They’re just signposts to another road
you’re meant to be on

Can you feel it?
like I do

Do you wonder if this road is really a road at all
or more like a kaleidoscope?
All of these metaphors unfolding in a straight line
when time is not a line at all

Do you wonder?
Do you feel it
like I do

like I do
Track Name: Change
I’m sorry
that the words I use
aren’t enough for you

I’m sorry
that the ways I speak
are too much for you

Don’t you wonder
if it’s the answer
for you
too?

Turn away
instead of asking me
to change
change
myself for you.
Track Name: Someday
Why do you keep growin
Where you growing to?
All of us are going to
never come true

Why are you still fighting?
What is fighting for?
When we’re out here righting all these wrongs
from leftover wars

And I say hey
you’re not ready
to be known or heard
And I say I can never
understand a single word
you say

Da da da
Da da da da da
All of us are waiting to
feel alive in our skin and it’s
like a drug or fire
we never thought we’d know
all of this desire
in our skin and bones

And you will have your answers
someday
And all of us give answers
along the way
cause we’re so bored down
here.
Track Name: My Favorite
You’ve been a friend to me
It’s easy to sing this song
To thank you for all you’ve done for me

Like a light at night
You kept shining on with your light
And you helped me when I was scared
and unprepared

And all of the birds want to fly
But come home to you at night
A home for their hopes
their nests
are made to rest in you
it’s true

And I will sing to you
Even when you don’t want my song
Cause I can’t help to feel it’s wrong
not to thank you for all you’ve done
Cause I wouldn’t be here at all
I wouldn’t be here at all
And I couldn’t see cause I’m not too tall
Like you up high in the air
Where I’ve laid my head to rest all these years
Where I’ve laid my head to rest
Where I’ve laid
Laid my head to rest
You’ve been a home
You’ve been a nesting place for me
Track Name: Casio <3
I really love casios <3
Track Name: ANYTHING
Understand
Understand
It’s an understatement
to say this

Don’t explain
Don’t command
It pertains to the plan

And do you want to know
What do you want to know
Do you want to see with your eyes
your inner sight
with your mind
what do you want to know?

Ooh
Ooh
Ooh

What do you want to be
Do you want to be anything?
What do you want to be
Do you want to decide
Or let me decide for you
What do you want to be
What do you want to be?

You could be anything at all…
You could be me…

Oh oh oh oh oh
Ah ah ah…
Track Name: Reborn
Keep goin, I heard you say
Keep goin, you say
I don’t want to get in your way

You’re angry, that I know
You’re angry deep in your bones
And I’ll tell you it will all be okay
but it won’t

Cause you have to decide if you
want to really live this time
And all the light in your eyes could go out
at any time
at any time

You’re hungry to be heard
You realize it’s all the same around the world
And I’m asking you to just think it through
why don’t you want to?

You’re dying to be born
and I tell you it’s not what you think at all
You see me like a flood
that lives in your blood

but I’ll tell you it’s all just a way to be
moving along like
tides move and like sand’s never really reborn
just blows around
you just blow around
you just go around
it’s not any kind of solution at all
you just blow around and blow around ...

you’ll still be small
Track Name: Forest
We go into the wilderness
And I’m afraid you won’t find
what you’re looking for

When we go into the forest
And I know it’s strange
but you have to let go of

Wanting to find anything
at all

We went into our wisdom
And we wanted to know if we
grew at all

When we went into our memories
And we found out we were something
great and smaller than
we thought we were
than we thought we were
before

If you are looking for something
But you don’t want to know if it’s
yours or mine to give
Just hold out both your hands
And see all this world wants you to live

It’s easy if you try
Or if you just say it is so
You know that I know that doesn’t make any sense at all
To let go you can find what you’re looking for
all along

Da da da da da da da

If you want to know me and
if I want to know you at all
Well then all of the rules that you
learned in childhood
are a way of just
keeping small

I won’t know you
You won’t know me
And I have to let go of the reins this time
I won’t know you
And you won’t know me
If I keep hiding inside a rhyme
Track Name: Moonbeam
Stars in the window
in the darkness of my mind
Stars like an echo
like a moment in time
And light like a moonbeam
radiating from my mind
I can see you
I can feel you
as I’m going blind
Track Name: Made for TV
If you had to choose a path that’s best for you
Would you choose the one you’re on?
And if you had to wonder where you went wrong

Would you look around at all the things scattered everywhere like debris
Would you see your life is clearly something you’d read in a book that’s made for TV

I know there’s a way to see this day as new
And I know that there’s a plan underneath all this rubble
It’s true or at least it feels true
And maybe we aren’t meant to discover the secret here
Cause it isn’t clear after all this time
It still isn’t clear

And will it ever be
I don’t know
So just hold onto me
And I’ll hold your heart in
some strange chorus that’s here before us
that’s full of light and birds and dreams
like some strange vision
I know it’s rising up
It’s risen up from the seams
All the cracks in the ground at your feet
At the light at your feet
Can’t get a foothold here

You’re flying in air and it’s everywhere
It’s around you like a dream you didn’t write
but you want to dream
Track Name: Real Dream
If I could change your mind
If I could help you understand
All the ways this world is not in our command

If I could change your mind
If I could see into that cloud inside
Between your eyes
Between your mind eyes

Where we get to decide what’s real to us
Between all the thoughts and feelings
about what’s been done to us
and everyone around you
Everyone you’ve ever met or read about
or heard on your favorite show
Your favorite TV show or movie
No wonder you’re going slow
It’s all too much

But it could be
a kind of a real life dream
that you want it to be


<3






(+ secret song:

Time is waiting for your cue
When you’re ready it will know what to do
In the meantime it will be your friend
It will hold you til the very end

If you want it to
If you want it to
If you want it to

When you’re ready I will be around
Here to guide you with that same old sound
I have always wanted to be this
I wasn’t ready

My fingertips can’t hold this light for you
You will have to feel it too
In the meantime I will be a friend to you )

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