Get all 53 Jessica in The Rainbow releases available on Bandcamp and save 25%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Eclipse Songs, Unicorn (or, S.A.D. #444), Grand Rapids (demos), Dreambird in Rainbowland (*4 kids*), decembersongs, Songwriting Club + Feelings, Tiny Traumas, adding up (out of body, in your skin) II, Fallen Star, and 45 more.
1. |
1.1 Mostly Grey
04:38
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The pain of being here
The pain of being too clear
on what we want and dream about
it sets your mind and heart apart
from now
from this
from light
from now
from this
this moment of light
from what you have to lose
from what you have to gain
when you’re fighting
fighting for one more day
fighting for a lifetime of mostly
grey and white
mostly grey
almost white
save the blackness
for some other night
cause it doesn’t feel right
right now
no it doesn’t feel right
right now
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2. |
1.2 Waves
05:19
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The messes we make
that we try to clean
The accidental ways we fall
into the cracks
of darkness in our minds
and hearts
and souls
made of light
beyond lifetimes
And how many times
how many times
And how many ways
can we lose in the same way?
And picturing all the ways
sandcastles are built in sand
and then they’re removed by waves
with one sweep of that sweet wavey hand
and then just the very next day very next day
all those kids they come out
again and again and again and
we are like children
we are like children
we don’t mind the waves
it’s like we’re just children
and we know we’re playing a game
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3. |
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If I spend my life composing all these words and all these notes
And if I spend my life composing all the words inside my throat
And if I spend my life composing every note born from the note that’s come before
And when in death I’m decomposing in the ground
My soul is light
And up above I hear a sound and it sounds right to me
Will I know that once so long ago
I made those notes, I sang those words
Or will I be just some part of the light
The light we all share
In our eyes
In our brains
In our smiles
And we don’t know why we share all this in common
If we have to live so separate
down here
like we aren’t all the same in what we fear
and what we know is true
When I say I love you
I love all of you
If I spend my life creating all these things out of my mind
Like little thoughts I give wings to
I can create anything
A self-fulfilling prophecy
It all comes too easily
So I choose my thoughts so carefully
so I don’t get lost
Cause if I’m a creator
And you’re a creator too
And we’re all just creating
like we always almost wanted to
And time it is moving
like liquid
like sand
And we are holding hands
with some great light
we can’t understand
And I don’t wanna go before I understand
But who am I to understand?
Who am I to understand?
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4. |
1.4 Pain
03:36
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Why is pain the glue
that helps us understand
things that may not be true
things out of our hands
Why is pain the glue
that helps us understand
each other?
Why is pain the cause
of empathy in people
Why is pain the same cause
of insanity?
And I don’t understand
I do not understand
Why the pain in me creates so many
beautiful things
And the pain in you
it’s made me rise above
my own pain
so many times
The pain in me
The pain in you and me
The pain in you and me
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5. |
1.5 Born of Light
01:37
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Something in me
isn’t moving
I don’t know where it wants to go
It’s born of light
just like my father
like my mother
like the snow
It’s liquid light
It’s liquid being
I cannot control why it’s
here inside my arms my fingers and my toes
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6. |
1.6 Interlude
00:37
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7. |
2.1 Breathing
07:35
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Over and over
I hear you whisper
Songs that don’t linger
anyway
Over and over
I am a stranger
and you are the one true thing
that’s not going away
And in my memory
I have been different
And in my memory
I am the same
Memory is liquid
Feels like it’s breathing
and leaving me alone
with this choice to make
And if you are sacred
And if you are white light
And if there is darkness
surrounding me at night
And if you’ll still hold me
despite all I’ve hated
Then maybe we’re fated
for some kind of ending
I want to believe in
(I can’t be sure
make me be sure)
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8. |
2.2 Specifications
04:56
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Intentional people doing intentional things
it feels like singing along with the melody to me
and I am like wind
I am like liquid
it can’t be contained to
such exact specifications
But you don’t want to
like I don’t want to
be so wound tightly anyway
No you don’t want to
like I don’t want to
But there you go
there you go again
There you go
There you go again
You have all these specifications
like how to breathe under all the weight
of all these things that give you wisdom
but if its wisdom then why are you so afraid?
and if it’s wisdom then why not use a lighter hand
yes if it’s wisdom then why don’t you lose the reigns
and if it’s wisdom then why are you so afraid?
So afraid
of what might happen if you
let go
You might lose control
Why do you love control?
It makes things pretty but it also makes them kind of
boring.
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9. |
2.3 Different
07:27
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Here in this place that I choose to
settle down with you or with myself
it doesn’t matter this time
cause here in this space that I breathe
I am certain of me
and you’re nice and you’re kind
But there won’t be some kind of overriding fiction in my brain
that tells me to stay here
if you treat me like a slave or you treat me in a way
that feels like it isn’t right
not just for a day but for a life
Cause I am learning the difference
I hope you can see that in my smile
I hope you can believe that when I say it’s different now
that I’m not filling your head with lies
It’s no surprise that my life is so different now
It’s no surprise that my life must be different
It’s no surprise that you make me different
Cause the people we’re around make us different
All these people who have found me made me different
All the ways that you find me make me different
And all the ways I’m alone make me different
And all the people who have shaped me made me different
Not just in the one way, they made me different
Different to myself, different to who I was born to be
Maybe I was born to be like this and I was on a crazy tangent
All that insanity that they gave me with their unconventional wisdom
With their horrific and ungodly wisdom
And I learned
We all learn
We all learn
I’m so afraid to stop learning
the things that make me feel like I’m alive
Don’t wanna throw a dart at a map
at one point of light
When there’s everywhere
When there’s light in your hair
When there’s light in my eyes
When there’s light over there
When there’s light in a surprise
When there’s tears in the smiles
When there’s smiles in the tears
Year after year after year after year
I wanna be different
Different from who I’ve been
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10. |
3.1 Embrace
10:40
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Is it the rain?
Is it the wind?
In her hair
In her face
On her skin
Is it the lightning?
Is it the ways we embrace the dark?
When it’s frightening
is it the way we make our way
when we can’t
see
any more than
three feet
in front of our
bare feet
in front of our
nose
and we’re burning up our toes
and we’re capsized like some little boat
who just wanted to sit and float
to sit still
(we can sit)
the absence of her
the absence of you
the wind on my back
the storm coming true
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11. |
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All of these notes
All of these colors
are here
They’re possible
to hear
to choose
like the rest of them
But I lose faith
every time I deviate
from the path that unfolds
around my head
without my wishful thinking
and I have been comfortable
til now
and I have been comfortable
all these years without
and I have been comfortable
most of the time
but I wonder if I am missing the point
of rhyming things
There is doubt in my every little step
Each choice is filled with the strangest form of regret
It finds the light inside each missed moment I could have chosen
yet I know that I will get a lot of chances to choose things
cause each time I say yes I’ve said a thousand nos
and each time I point my finger at a thing I want
another thing goes away from view
and I can’t be happy choosing
so I’ll choose for you if you will choose for me
(Make up your mind
Make up your mind…)
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12. |
3.3 Interlude
00:39
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13. |
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I read in a book one day
that intentions are everything
I read in a book one year
that everything we fear is already coming
true
is already here
no point in running
already true
so what can you do with that?
what can I do with that?
I read in a book one life
that numbers and words are like signposts from heaven
I read in the news one day
that we all are just wanting to save for ourselves
saving the best of ourselves
for later
If time were real
then why would I save things
If time were real
then why would I save things
If time were real
then why should I save things
If time is real
If time is now
then now is now
and now is now
and now is now
and now is
now is
now
And now
now
now
now
right
right
now is right now
is right now
is right
now
If time is my friend
to save me from blinking
and missing the whole thing
if time is my friend
and I’m supposed to say something
really important here
if time is my friend
then I don’t have to say a goddamned thing
if time is my friend
then letting go
letting go again
then letting go
would be my friend
til I am lost
inside of
you.
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Jessica in The Rainbow Michigan
~demos & lofi~
~existential dream folk~
~neoclassical lullaby pop~
~care bear
stare~
jessicaintherainbow.com 💕✨🌼
* Studio albums @ jessicawolfbird.bandcamp.com *
... more
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